Chinese American Weddings

(For new reader and those who request 好友请求, please read my 公告栏 first).

ChineseAmericanWeddings Juneisthemonthsforweddings.Weattendedthreeweddingsofthechildrenofour ChineseAmericanfriendsthispastmonths.Nowadays,ourfriendslikeushavelong establishedandsettledinthecommunity.Weddingsoftheirchildrentendtobecomea bigaffairwithfriendsandrelativescomingfromallovertheworld.Theyarebig logisticefforts.Thereisanindustryofweddingconsultants,planner,hotel,andcaterersto serveyou.Costcaneasilyrunupto5figuresinUSdollars.ChineseAmericansstill mostlymarrywithintheirownracebutlivinginAmericaweddingsareoftenamixtureof theEastandWestcustoms.WrittenbelowisanessayIwrotethreeyearsagowhichI reproduceforScienceNetreaders: RelectionsOnattendingawedding By Yu-ChiHo Thesonofafriendisgettingmarriedthisafternoon.SophiaandIwereinvited.The ceremonyandthedinnerreceptionafterwardsareatCastleHill/Crane'sBeach.Theplace isasmallerversionofthefamed"billionaire'scottage"inNewport,RI(note#1)built beforethedaysofincometax.Craneusedtobeintheplumbingbusinessandmadehis fortunethere.(note#2)Nowadaystheplaceisoperatedbyacorporationandrentsout forfunctionsandsummerconcerts.The"cottage"hasaspectacularviewofmanicured lawnandlandscapedtreesrollingdowntotheAtlanticOceaninthedistance.Theday wassunnybuttoocoolinlateAprilforanoutdoorceremony.Soover120guests crowdedintoasittingroomconvertedintoamake-shiftchapel.TheserviceisUnitarian thusinvolvingagreatdealofimprovisation.Thegroom'sfatherreadapoeminChinese打油诗 whichhecomposedhimselffortheoccasionThegroomandthebrideaddedtheir personalreflectionsonhowtheirunioncameabout.Theministerandaguestreadtypical passagesaboutjoy,hardship,love,family,andthejourneyaheadforthecouple.Usually onesitsandletsuchwordspassinoneearandoutoftheotheraspureplatitudes.Butthis timeasIsatwithmypartnerofover40yearsbesidesme,thewordssuddenlytookon theirtruemeaning.Havinglivedthrough40yearsofjoy,hardship,family,andlove, thosewordsandpassagesbecameasummaryofmyownexperienceandverificationof whatlifeisallabout.Iwastransportedinthoughtstoourownwedding40yearsagoand foundmyselfre-affirmingtheweddingvowsImadethen.Butwiththebenefitof hindsight,itis"oncemorewithfeeling".Theyoungcouplebeingmarriedthisday,Ihave nodoubt,loveeachothersincerelyandmayhaveevenchosethemessagesbeingread. ButIseriouslydoubttheycantrulyexperiencewhatIwasexperiencingandfeeling.Do theyandcantheyknowwhattheyaregettingintoandwhatthefuturebeholds?Iuseto thinkthatpeoplegoingthrougharenewalweddingceremonytore-affirmtheirvowsare eithershowingofforsentimentalslobs.NowIknowbetter. Afterthereceptiondinner,thediscjockeystartsplayingtraditionalweddingdancemusic. Butasaconcessiontotheseniorset,occasionallyaslowfoxtrotpieceisslippedin.The roomwascrowdedandwarm.SophiaandIescapedtotheoutsideterrace.Underthecold andmoonlitskyinasurroundingoutofaHollywoodGatsbymovie,(note#3)wedanced alonetothemusicof"smokegetsinyoureyes"......…TheyaskedmehowIknew,mytrue loveistrue?AndofcourseIrepliedsomethinghereinside,cannotbedenied…....Ahyes, clichesaretrue!Lifeisbeautifulonlytooshort. Note#1Thebillionairesof19thcenturyAmericabuiltluxuriousmansionsfortheir summervacation,whichtheyrefertoas"cottages"alongthefamouscliffwalkin Newport,RhodeIsland.These"cottage"comesasclosetothefabledcastlesinEuropein representingwealthinoldAmerica.Intheageofincometax,mostofthesecottageshave becometouristattractions. Note#2IfyoutravelintheUS,thebathroomfixturesinyourhotelormoteloftencarry theCranebrand. Note#3)ThewellknownAmericanwriterF.ScottFitzgeraldwrotehisfamousnovel "TheGreatGatsby"aboutlivesamongthesuper-richinearly20thcenturyAmerica.